Lube Rockets Philadelphia Cheese Steak Sandwich
1 (24 ounce) rib eye or eye roll steak, thinly sliced
6 tablespoons oil
Swiss Cheese
4 crusty Italian rolls
1 large Spanish onion
Optional: sweet green and red peppers, sautéed in oil
Mushrooms, sautéed in oil
* American or Provolone works fine.
Heat an iron skillet or a nonstick pan over medium heat. Add 3 tablespoons of oil to the pan and sauté the onions to desired doneness. Remove onions and set aside.
Add the remaining oil and sauté the slices of meat quickly on both sides.
Melt the cheese in a double boiler or in the microwave. Place 6 ounces of the meat into each of the rolls; add onions, and add more cheese over top. Garnish with fried sweet peppers, mushrooms and ketchup.
Osborn's Short Shorts Mesquite-a-Rita
1 jigger Cuervo Gold Tequila
1/2 jigger Grand Marnier
1 jigger triple sec
1 jigger freshly-squeezed lime juice
Lime slices, to serve
Coarsely-ground salt
Rib rim of an old-fashioned glass with a fresh lime, quartered. Dip rim in coarsely ground salt. Combine ingredients in shaker, shake well and pour over ice. Garnish with a lime wheel.
My Ass is Sore Chicken Breasts Wrapped in Bacon
12 cloves garlic
16 medium sprigs of rosemary
2 cups red wine (cabernet works well)
Pinch salt
8 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 4 pound)
Bunch of fresh sage
48 pieces bacon (about 3 pound)
Bamboo skewers
Chop garlic and rosemary in a food processor.
Combine chopped garlic and rosemary in a medium size bowl with the red wine. Add salt, put aside.
Soak skewers in water for 15 minutes.
Cut each chicken breast into medium size pieces, about 6 pieces per breast. Put chicken in the red wine mix for about 1 hour.
Take 1 sage leaf off the bunch, put on the chicken piece, wrap bacon around the chicken and sage and put on the bamboo skewer. Continue until all chicken pieces and bacon are on skewers, 5 pieces per skewer. Grill until bacon becomes golden (about 20 to 25 minutes), flipping occasionally.
Bruce's Guacamole
3 avocados, fresh - not frozen or canned
1/4 cup red onions, diced
1/3 cup tomatoes, diced
1/4 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
Juice of 1/4 lemon
1/4 teaspoon granulated garlic
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cumin
Pinch of cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh cilantro
Prepare all ingredients before peeling and cutting avocados. Using a knife cut avocados in half and remove seed. Use a large spoon to remove avocado from skin and place in a bowl. Cut avocados down to 1-inch chunks while in bowl. Measure all ingredients separately; do not combine any ingredients together. Add liquids, tomatoes and onions to avocados, mix well by hand. Mix all ingredients together in a separate container. Mix by hand, being careful not to over mix, causing the avocados to purée. Guacamole should have 1/2 to 1-inch chunks of avocado visible.
Hunter and Griff's Mullet Spinach Dip
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup yellow onions
1 1/4 cups sliced mushrooms
1/4 cup butter
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 cup sour cream
1 pound spinach
Cook onions and mushrooms in saucepan, and slowly add in remaining ingredients, adding the spinach last. Once all the ingredients are mixed in together, top with cheese. Serve with nacho chips. Can also serve with tomato relish.
Carney Men Salsa
5 fresh tomatoes
1 1/2 cups canned crushed tomatoes
1 cup (8 ounce) tomato paste
2 fresh bell peppers
3/4 to 1 cup chopped onion
5 fresh medium-hot jalapeno peppers or
1/2 cup canned (in water, not vinegar)
1/2 to 1 bunch fresh cilantro
2 tablespoons salt
1/2 tablespoon cumin
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 to 2 cups water
Chop all fresh vegetables. Combine all ingredients in a large saucepan. Simmer 15 minutes, then bring to a boil. Remove from heat and let cool for about 20 minutes, add cilantro.
Don't forget the lube B-B-Q Shrimp
2 pounds large fresh shrimp in the shell (heads removed)
1 cup butter
1/2 cup olive oil
4 tablespoons minced garlic
1 tablespoon sweet basil (dried will do, but fresh is best)
4 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon lemon juice
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
5 tablespoons black pepper
Toasted French bread
Melt butter in olive oil. Add all other ingredients except shrimp. Let sauce stand for at least 15 minutes and up to 2 hours.
When ready to cook, add shrimp to skillet and cook for 10 to 15 minutes or until they are pink all over, stirring often.
Divide shrimp among individual bowls. Pour sauce over shrimp and serve with French bread for dipping.
Getting Sore Asses for the Cure Lasagna
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons fine-quality olive oil
1 cup chopped onion
1 tablespoon minced garlic
2 pounds lean ground beef
1 pound hot or sweet Italian sausage meat,
removed from casings and chopped
1/2 cup red wine
3 (28 ounce) cans imported San Marzano
Italian tomatoes, with juice, hand-crushed
3 tablespoons tomato paste
5 cups water
Salt and pepper to taste
2 pounds ricotta cheese
2 egg yolks
1 pound lasagna noodles
2 cups grated fresh mozzarella cheese
1 cup freshly grated Pecorino Romano cheese
1 pound fresh mozzarella cheese, sliced
Heat 1/2 cup oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion and garlic and sauté for 3 minutes. Stir in the beef and sauté for 5 minutes or until well browned. Remove the beef with a slotted spoon and set aside. Add the sausage to the saucepan and sauté until browned. Return beef to saucepan.
Add the wine to the saucepan and cook for 5 minutes or until it has evaporated.
Stir in tomatoes, tomato paste, and water. Add salt and pepper. Simmer, stirring occasionally, for about 2 hours or until thick and rich in flavor. If needed, add more water, a quarter cup at a time. If sauce is fatty, either skim off the fat or put a few layers of paper towel on the top to absorb the excess fat. (If you have the time, refrigerate the sauce until the fat congeals on top; then simply lift it off.)
Put ricotta into a cheesecloth lined colander and allow it to drain in the refrigerator for about 2 hours. Combine with egg yolks; blend well. This will keep the lasagna from being watery.
Add the noodles and remaining 2 tablespoons oil to a large, deep pot filled with rapidly boiling salted water. Cook noodles until al dente. Drain well in a colander and then run under cold running water to stop the cooking process. Put noodles, in a single layer, on clean, damp kitchen towels. Cover with clean, damp towels.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Ladle a thin layer of meat sauce info a lasagna pan (12 x I8 x 2 inches or 14 x I0 x 3 inches), Cover with noodles, laid lengthwise, then cover noodles with a layer of meat sauce, Spread a thin, smooth layer of ricotta over the meat sauce. Sprinkle with grated mozzarella and Pecorino Romano. Continue layers of pasta, sauce, and cheese, alternating the pasta )n opposite directions for each layer (lengthwise, then crosswise, etc.). Finish with a layer of meat sauce covered with sliced mozzarella and sprinkle with Pecorino Romano.
Bake in preheated oven for about 45 minutes or until cheese topping has melted and lasagna is bubbling.
Remove from oven and allow to rest for 15 minutes before cutting into squares and serving.
Carney Men Hangover Helper Bloody Mary Mix
1 quart good-quality tomato juice
6 ounces Worcestershire sauce
1 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 tablespoons Tabasco sauce
1 tablespoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon cracked black pepper
1 teaspoon dried dill or 2 teaspoons chopped fresh dill
1/4 cup grated fresh horseradish
In a blender, combine all ingredients and blend for 1 minute. Use as needed. The mix will last for up to 2 days, covered and refrigerated.
For Da Brotha Broiled Dill Salmon
1/2 cup melted butter or olive oil
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill
1/8 teaspoon red pepper
4 salmon steaks, 1-inch thick (about 2 pound total)
Place melted butter, lemon juice, salt, fresh chopped dill and red pepper in small bowl and stir to combine. Preheat broiler.
Place salmon steaks on lightly-greased pan and brush with half of seasoned butter. Broil, 5 inches from source of heat, 5 to 10 minutes.
Turn heat to 400 degrees F, close oven and bake an additional 5 to 8 minutes.
Brush with remaining butter blend. Serve.
Mullet Head Burger
1/3 pound ground hamburger meat
1 sesame bun
1 tablespoon mayo
1/4 cup shredded lettuce
1 pineapple ring
2 cups teriyaki sauce (divided into 2 separate bowls)
2 slices tomato
1 slice Cheddar cheese
Form round burger patty. Marinate burger patty in bowl #1 of teriyaki sauce for 30 minutes.
Marinate pineapple ring in bowl # 2 of teriyaki sauce for 30 minutes.
Remove burger patty and grill on high heat to desired doneness.
Melt Cheddar cheese on top of patty while still on grill pan by covering with lid.
Grill pineapple ring on medium heat for 1 minute on each side.
Spread mayo on both halves of the bun.
On bottom bun, place tomato slices, followed by the broiled hamburger patty with cheese (tomato on the bottom!).
On top of burger patty, stack the pineapple ring and shredded lettuce.
Put the two together and you've got a burger; one that's both sweet, salty and hearty.
Kick Yo Ass Caramel Bars
Crust and Topping
2 pounds all-purpose flour (about 6 cups)
12 ounces granulated sugar (about 1 3/4 cups)
1 pound 4 ounces butter (2 1/2 cups)
Filling
1 pound (4 sticks) butter
1/2 cup corn syrup
2 cups sweetened condensed milk
2 pounds brown sugar
1 cup chocolate chips
To make the crust and topping: Cut butter into the dry ingredients in a mixer, stopping once the ingredients develop a cornmeal-like texture. Reserve four cups of the mixture for topping. Press the remaining mix into the bottom of a greased, 12 x 18-inch pan. Bake at 300 degrees F until golden.
Bring butter, corn syrup, milk and brown sugar to a boil in a saucepan, whisking constantly. Whisk at "lava" boiling stage for five minutes. Pour over baked crust. Sprinkle remaining topping and chocolate chips on top. Bake at 300 degrees F until the filling in the middle of the pan is bubbling and golden brown, about 35 to 40 minutes. Place another pan on lower rack to catch any drippings. Cool before cutting.
Steve Jaggard's I Came To Compete Dill Potato Wedges
7 or 8 new red potatoes
2 cloves garlic, minced fine
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter (no substitutes)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
2 teaspoons crushed dill
Wash potatoes well and boil until soft, drain well on paper towels. Melt butter in large frying pan. Sauté garlic for a couple of moments, and then add potatoes and remaining seasonings. Pan-fry the potatoes until they are light brown.
Help, I've Fallen Off My Bike and Can't Get Up Baked Greek Chicken Salad
- 4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
1/4 cup melted butter
1 lemon, juiced
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon Greek seasoning
1 package mixed Italian salad greens
Tomato-Cucumber Salsa (recipe follows)
2 ounces feta cheese, crumbled
Black olives
Pepperoncini pepper
- Place chicken in baking dish.
- In medium bowl, mix together butter, lemon juice, pepper, garlic powder, oregano and Greek seasoning; pour over chicken. Place chicken in 350°F. oven and bake for about 50 minutes, uncovered, basting occasionally.
- Place salad greens in large serving bowl. Top with Tomato-Cucumber Salsa. Slice chicken in thin strips and arrange on top of salad. Sprinkle with feta cheese and garnish with olives and pepper.
Tomato-Cucumber Salsa:
In medium bowl, mix together 2 diced plum tomatoes, 1 peeled and sliced small cucumber, 1/2 green pepper julienned, 1/4 sliced purple onion, 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar, 1 tablespoon olive oil, 2 tablespoons vegetable oil, and 1/8 teaspoon each freshly ground pepper, salt, basil, oregano, Greek seasoning, sugar and dry mustard. Chill until ready to serve.
- I Can't Feel My Ass Garden Ham Pasta Toss
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- 6 cups water
6 ounces (2 cups) uncooked dried rotini (corkscrew or pasta twists)
3/4 pound small new potatoes, cut into 1/4-inch wedges
2 medium yellow squash, cut into eighths lengthwise, cu